It’s been a rough two weeks.
Without going into too much detail, I had a moment with a friend of mine and my reaction was piss poor. What happened and why I reacted the way I did is not important for this story. What is important is that my reaction was really kak and I have been sent into a bit of a downward spiral. The ironic thing is that the friend probably walked away from the incident and thought I was a huge doos and I have been reeling for two weeks. The scary thing (and the point of my story) is the loneliness that I have felt. Regardless of who was right and wrong, won’t go into detail, I have been wondering if everyone is mad at me etc etc.
I am a strong advocate for raising awareness about mental health. This cause is deeply meaningful to me. It’s no secret that I have experienced my fair share of anxiety and moments of depression. While I’m not alone in this, I recognise that there are millions out there who struggle even more than I do. The point I’m trying to make is that if I’ve felt isolated in the past two weeks, I can only imagine how others might feel. Some people carry an immense burden, and asking for help can be incredibly challenging, no matter how small that help may seem to others. Depression is difficult, but it’s the overwhelming loneliness that truly takes its toll.
I understand that when you’re in that state, even a small gesture can make a significant difference and prevent someone from entertaining harmful thoughts. I know that this isn’t binary, harmful thoughts don’t equal suicide, but when harmful thoughts enter the mind they tend to erode the soul bit by bit.
It’s easy to say, but I try to look out for those around me and most of the time I get it wrong. I’m not expecting anyone to read this, but if you ever need a person to chat to or have a beer with, please reach out to me – even if we don’t know one another.
